Oh no, a quote

The following applies to my pseudospiritual side as well as the tasks that need to get done. Sort of a "If you want something done, do it yourself." approach.

I use the term pseudo in front of spiritual because I believe spiritual by itself implies observance of an unnamed, but single religion. I do not pretend to be special enough to claim any one religion as MINE.

No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.

-Buddha

Now That's Inconvenient!

So,now we need to return shopping carts to the cart corral, AND put them upside down?
It must make it a huge pain for the employees who collect them.

Fun on a Friday Off

How to make nitric acid in one's nose:

After having stubborn epitaxis for over 8 hours, I had my wife bring me to the local "doc in a box" when she came home from work. The doc was nice enough to dab the problem vessels with some AgNO3. Problem solved plus now my nostril is black:) For the fellow geeks out there: AgNO3 + H2O (from the blood) ======> AgOH + HNO3And a nice tingle to boot.

Question of the day

What if someone put melted gjetost on lutefisk?

Bangers and Mash?

S0 here I am some 4 days after surgery, and am finally able to get out of the house for more than a 15 minute slow walk without great discomfort. The bruising has been dissipating in some areas while developing in others. Kind of a chameleon effect. My (specific body region) has never been that color before. Fortunately, the level of pain is less than the shade indicates. Not that there is no pain, there is as anyone who has had this surgery will attest. In response for those of you who whish to thank me for sharing: "You're most welcome." In respect for everything sacred, or at least sacred by my standards, I am not posting a pic, nor am I mentioning the specific part.

A Very Large Moth

I saw this on an outside wall by the main entrance of the Physics building on the NAU campus. While I was taking this picture, a student copied me an also took a pic. This moth is HUGE!

Well, Duh!

For some time I have known about the existence of a hiking/mountain bike trail that runs between Ft. Tuthill and highway 89A south of Pine Dell, but have never found it. I knew where the trail entered Ft. Tuthill from the North, but never had the time to follow it from there. I also knew it took off from somewhere near the Pine Mountain Amphitheater. I would usually find myself at Ft. Tuthill only 1-2 times a year, but would take the opportunity to search for it when there. Today was one of those days. As I ventured toward the amphitheater, I noticed small black arrows on small yellow square signs attached to trees. These are type used to mark nordic ski trails. I decided to take a gamble by following the arrows and was soon on a bona fide trail that connected to other bona fide trails. I folowed one till it crossed highway 89A just south of Pine Dell. Exactly as the maps showed (except for showing just where the trail hits the amphitheater) All I had to do was follow the arrows. It just goes to show - I can earn an advanced degree in chemistry, but arrows escape me. The "Pinky and the Brain" theme fills my head. Now the real scary part - I Vote!

O Canada We Stand On Guard For Thee

Some men call their former girl friends when they get drunk, others call for help.

I ran across a news item about a man in Manitoba who dialed 911 (sometime last year) to demand the return of the Winnipeg Jets. Although I empathize with the man, he needs to realize 1: The Jets left Winnipeg about 14 years ago. 2: As witnessed during the last two weeks of the 2009-2010 season, Phoenicians will venture out to the worst named arena on the planet to watch hockey if the team wins a few games. 3: If the Coyotes move back north of the border, they are far more likely to land in Hamilton than Winnipeg. 4: He is lucky to have done this in Canuckistan where people understand what alcoholic beverages do to hockey fans. 5: Glendale is home to the WORST NAMED ARENA in the universe. I don't know what that has to do with the other 4, but "Jobing.com Arena?" The naming committee needs to present possible names to a group of 11-111 year old males before final approval. If there are snickers, guffaws, chortles, or laughs, the suggested name fails. Even a well-bred proper Mormon mom would shoot green Jell-O from her nose on that one.

I hope Manitoba does land a team in the future, but for now I am (Deleted Expletive) glad there is a team within 224km (metric as a nod to the denizens of "the True North strong and free") of where I live. If (when?) they leave I am likely to emulate the puck-head and dial 911 demanding the return of the team. Nobody ever said one needed to be smart to be a hockey fan. And for me even a fan of teams formerly known as the North Stars, or Colorado Rockies is a hockey fan. And as with firefighters, a brother is a brother, even if they like Dallas, or New Jersey.

Forget 12 step programs, try my 15 step program!

1) Get annoyed with dripping kitchen faucet and go to hardware store and buy appropriate cartridge/stem units.
2) Come home and replace units
3) Notice faucet still drips and go to same store and buy replacement spring/seat units
4) Replace seat/springs.
5) Readjust/tighten faucet handle/stem/spring-seat units when faucet still drips.
6) Remove "bonnet" to repeat step 5, realizing I forgot to make sure water was turned off.
7) Clean up water from ceiling/floor/self. (if you think this was stupid, wait till step 8)
8) Repeat steps 5,6,and 7. (with emphasis on steps 6 and 7) Tighten everything.
9) Dance around when there are no drips.
10) Stop dancing when water leaks from every possible place - including under sink.
11) Call friend for help.
12) Mess around with the whole thing repeating the steps, but making sure water is off.
13)Finally remove faucet from sink.
14) Discover why dripping stopped, but leaking started.






15) Go to different store to spend money on new faucet, because I don't want to play with solder. (Given my talent with step 8.)
15) Install new faucet. (it probably need replacing anyway)

Doubling Up On Typing Exercizes

As the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog, I packed my box with five dozen liquor jugs. All right, all right, I know I took some liberties here, but I have fake poetic license. I also am seeing double, and then some. Well, letters anyway.

tuRmeric. tuRmeric. With an R

Phun with puns part 1.


True story: Yesterday I ran across a string about ingredients used in cooking that claimed tumeric [sic] had cancer fighting properties. Although the responsible party forgot the first "r" they did not use an "o." This is a good thing otherwise we would have a carcinogen and wind up with a tumor. Ick.

No, I Did Not Hear The Rest Of Them.

Snippets of two conversations I heard today.

1) "I know how to do it, but when I have to do it, I do it wrong."

2) "That will be good for your Adam's apple."


Both would be good primers for a creative writing assignment. Too bad they were parts of different conversations.

Geting Older With Bourbon And Voodoo

While watching the big game today, it hit me during the halftime show that none of us are as young as we used to be. I was also happy to discover that things (read voices) can loosen up after a song or two. This is concerning a group of folks whose generation is about half a generation before my generation. It also hit me that I really did care who won the game, so come the fourth quarter I switched between the game and "The Simpsons" - mostly because I forgot to get some "Dixie Blackened Voodoo" and had to do something to bring some luck to the Saints. It seemed to work because during the first 'mercial for The Simpsons when I switched back I noticed things had improved. WHAT AN INTERCEPTION!!!
I hold nothing against the Colts - one of my high school/college classmates used to play for them, but the city that has hosted several "Big Games" should also produce the winner of said big game at least once. So in celebration I will need to find some place in this town that sells Dixie Blackened Voodoo. I even felt the urge to be on Bourbon Street in The Big Easy despite the fact I hate crowds - it might have something to do with wanting to get away from snow for at least one day.

Trying To Find My Way Back

I have suddenly realized that my blog has lost it's original edge of anti-seriousness and sarcasm. This is due to an extreme dose of paranoia that anything I write may be used against me in the future. I could be on trial or serve as a witness someday and have to answer to items in this blog. That is why I refrain from making comparisons between a specific upper level administrator at a specific institution of higher education and fictional humanoids with hairy feet that live in dwellings with round doors. I'm sure we can envision it now: "Now then Mr. R," said the attorney with a lilt of smugness in his voice, "Is it not true that you said the president of the university and the local mayor could get a 2-for-1 special on What Not To Wear?" I would reply something like, "No, it is quite true." The prosecution would then inquire "No, it is true?" I would then be kind enough to point out the use of a double negative in the attorney's original inquiry. That combined with the likelihood that I would be wearing a cartoon character necktie would seal my fate. So it's a good thing I don't compare people to Hobbits.

Geek Alert

Today being 3/3/9 is one of nine square root days a century. I think I'll celebrate it by doing something square. I could 1) eat only square meals, 2) watch Sponge Bob Squarepants, 3) act like a square 4) make sure all corners are square or 5) go square dancing. It is also the day of the science fair at my daughter's school. How cool is it for it to fall on square root day? We will have to wait for April 4th of 2016 for the next one. How will you observe the occasion?

And They Shall Be Termed Equini - even if it is wrong.

It seems that the cable company is blaming solar radiation interference for the reduced reception on some of the channels we subscribe to. The nerve! Did they suddenly become astrophysicists or something? They also say this occurs around the equini - what is the plural of equinox? This drop in service was most annoying last evening when I was watching the Coyotes/Anaslime game. Tracing the puck on our small T.V. set is hard enough without a 2 second outage every 5 minutes, so I propose drastic action. I suggest we either ban the sun, or simply skip over the equini. Or better yet, we should get McCain-Palin to blame the Democrats. This is exactly what they will do unless the Obama folks defuse the Ayers/Wright/Rebel of the day pseudo connections. (I promised some type of jab against the Dems.) As more of these pseudo connections are brought to life, Senator Obama will need to be more detailed in the relationships. I think the Republicans are grab-bagging, but it seems to be working for them. The republicans are also milking the MYTH of the evil liberal media to their full benefit. The Democrats are caving, and the media is adjusting their coverage in a way that only Rupert Murdoch would be proud of. Just in case you are wondering: I find both the McCain-Palin and Obama-Biden camps to have strong points and weak points. I am a registered Independant and politically am between the two camps, but am weary of the influence of the FAR FAR right "Do as we say, think what we tell you, pray ONLY what we pray" philosophy. I am also tired of the Democrats "give us your money and we will redistribute it for you." mentality.

Oh, according to the Astronomical Dictionary it is equinoxes. I can't believe I was wrong.

I am part owner of several global corporations!

Well, the last half of the week has been much less hostile to the stock market than the first half, and my portfolio seems to have grown, at least in number of things owned. It seems I am now part owner of AIG and a whole bunch of mortgages of a whole bunch of banks. I will keep telling myself this, and ignore that what I own is a sack of manure wrapped in pretty foil paper. Some economists believe that is things go well, this may be good for the taxpayer/investors. I will continue to tell myself that I own things I didn't before. It also seems that the maverick that is for small government and deregulation is also for another bureaucracy to regulate the private sector. Ain't election years great.

WHEN BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD IDIOMS

Tuesday I was listening to THE WORLD on NPR and found a humorous use of an idiom. Simon Montlake was reporting on Anwar Ibrahim, a Malaysian MP (Member of Parliment) who was convicted of sodomy in 1998. He denies the charges, which is not the funny part. The reporter artfully mentioned that when he was jailed in 1998, his wife "Kept the seat warm for him." My mind which resides several levels below the gutter, made a connection between the charges and a warm seat. It sounded much more refined when spoken with Simon Montlake's British accent.

Oh, the clogging of the streets.

I can tell summer is winding down by the level of activity on campus. After the summer session ended a couple of weeks ago, campus became very quiet as many faculty and staff members took vacations of varying lengths. Over the weekend, things started to slowly pick up, and activity is increasing by about 10%/day. There should be an explosion of activity late this week in preparation for classes to start next Monday. Soon Flagstaff will be filled with thousands of new students getting lost as they attempt to navigate in a town that is new to them. The real fun will start when the returning students discover that several of their favorite parking lots on campus no longer exist.

New Math

Today we will study new math.
If we have a petite nine year old girl
If we add a semi-picky appetite and the one bite and "I'm Full" syndrome
Then add swimming
And McDonald's where she LOVES the fish sandwich we get what?

The answer is a Big Mac of course and she ate the WHOLE thing -- and was STILL HUNGRY!