O Canada We Stand On Guard For Thee

Some men call their former girl friends when they get drunk, others call for help.

I ran across a news item about a man in Manitoba who dialed 911 (sometime last year) to demand the return of the Winnipeg Jets. Although I empathize with the man, he needs to realize 1: The Jets left Winnipeg about 14 years ago. 2: As witnessed during the last two weeks of the 2009-2010 season, Phoenicians will venture out to the worst named arena on the planet to watch hockey if the team wins a few games. 3: If the Coyotes move back north of the border, they are far more likely to land in Hamilton than Winnipeg. 4: He is lucky to have done this in Canuckistan where people understand what alcoholic beverages do to hockey fans. 5: Glendale is home to the WORST NAMED ARENA in the universe. I don't know what that has to do with the other 4, but "Jobing.com Arena?" The naming committee needs to present possible names to a group of 11-111 year old males before final approval. If there are snickers, guffaws, chortles, or laughs, the suggested name fails. Even a well-bred proper Mormon mom would shoot green Jell-O from her nose on that one.

I hope Manitoba does land a team in the future, but for now I am (Deleted Expletive) glad there is a team within 224km (metric as a nod to the denizens of "the True North strong and free") of where I live. If (when?) they leave I am likely to emulate the puck-head and dial 911 demanding the return of the team. Nobody ever said one needed to be smart to be a hockey fan. And for me even a fan of teams formerly known as the North Stars, or Colorado Rockies is a hockey fan. And as with firefighters, a brother is a brother, even if they like Dallas, or New Jersey.

Forget 12 step programs, try my 15 step program!

1) Get annoyed with dripping kitchen faucet and go to hardware store and buy appropriate cartridge/stem units.
2) Come home and replace units
3) Notice faucet still drips and go to same store and buy replacement spring/seat units
4) Replace seat/springs.
5) Readjust/tighten faucet handle/stem/spring-seat units when faucet still drips.
6) Remove "bonnet" to repeat step 5, realizing I forgot to make sure water was turned off.
7) Clean up water from ceiling/floor/self. (if you think this was stupid, wait till step 8)
8) Repeat steps 5,6,and 7. (with emphasis on steps 6 and 7) Tighten everything.
9) Dance around when there are no drips.
10) Stop dancing when water leaks from every possible place - including under sink.
11) Call friend for help.
12) Mess around with the whole thing repeating the steps, but making sure water is off.
13)Finally remove faucet from sink.
14) Discover why dripping stopped, but leaking started.






15) Go to different store to spend money on new faucet, because I don't want to play with solder. (Given my talent with step 8.)
15) Install new faucet. (it probably need replacing anyway)

Fun With Construction Stuff

While Flagstaff slept, alien conehead lumberjacks attacked!