Three Important Questions

1) Where are you?
2) Where are you going?
3) What will be expected of you when you get there?

The other playoffs.

Under normal conditions, I will take the Dead Things over the Avs, but I grow weary of Detroit, and am pulling for Colorado - in this series anyway. Oh, I should also mention that my Colorado roots run deep. Oh, and the playoffs aren't normal conditions.

Mail order normalcy

A cpuple of days ago the latest issue of my favorite mail order catalog. OUR DESIGNS, arrived. It has firefighter related gifts from figurines and wind chimes to firefighter PJs for the kids. I think my wife likes it more than I do. If it weren't for the ABC STORES catalog, she wouldn't read anything else - well almost. It is still fun to hear her say "I want that, and I want this, and that." and all of it is for fire/EMS geeks. It could be worse, after all we have some friends that got a hold of an old hydrant and put it in their back yard for decoration. It sure is nice to have friends that make me look normal.

Kinds of folks

There are two kinds of people: those who categorize people into groups and those who don't.

Wish List

I want a street-legal Zamboni.

Indecision.

I've changed my mind. I want to be a mahout.

Of course it's good. It's a monument to chocolate.

I volunteered to make the desert for a get-together with friends this Saturday evening and have decided to make a rather complicated cake. I refer to it as the "pain in the ass cake." Idiots call it the "chocolate ruffle cake." The beast has three layers, creme fraiche (chocolate and plain) and raspberry filling, decorative chocolate pieces on the top, and a chocolate band around the whole damn thing. I wonder if I was influenced by some of my daughters spelling words such as delicious, pastries, filling and crumbs.

Monotony!

I have decided my job has too much stress and I should quit the glamorous world of accounting/materials managing to be a network meteorologist. I already have the extended forcast for northern Arizona: the next month will be cool, sunny, dry and windy. Lows around 35, highs around 65-70 Then there will be two weeks of warm, sunny, dry and windy. Lows in the 40's, highs in the 70's This will be followed by two weeks of hot, sunny dry and windy with lows around 55, highs in the upper 80's. Did I mention dry and windy? At least the snow finally melted.

I am in charge! No, really, I'm the boss.

Star is the most spoiled dog in the world. Not only do we allow her on the bed, but feel guilty when we make her move so there is room for us humans. I usually just roll her over which causes her to move to the foot of the bed - giving me the evil eye as she does so. The other night she was so insulted by the roll that she refused to even look at me or respond to my voice. By morning she recovered and was half sleeping with her head on my feet, acting like my best friend ever. Anxiously waiting for me to wake up and give her a morning belly rub. Does she have me figured, or what?

The Politics of Sports

So it seems that many are confused as to why Obama and Clinton continue to sling mud at eachother. I believe it is because they are Democrats and that is what Democrats do. My 8th grade government teacher once told the class that after seeing how the Democrats worked and how the Republicans worked that he prefered the Democrats because they liked to argue. He went on to suggest that Republicans strive for a consensus, no matter what the consensus. He made some "enemies" that day, but his analysis has stayed with me for over 30 years. The Democrats love a fight for the sake of a fight - they will even pick one with eachother. It isn't as if the object of the game is to fight, but when the opportunity presents itself a fight will break out. In short, Democrats play hockey and Republicans do the seventh inning stretch thing. If you are wondering where I stand - I played hockey when I was a kid. I still believe it is the greatest sport ever. However, I frequently vote for baseball fans.

Bad Joke Warning!

If you hate bad jokes, stop reading this post now!

My daughter just ordered a marble cake for her 9th birthday. I would have made one for her, but I couldn't figure out how to make a cake from marbles.

I warned you.

Oh, and don't worry. My daughter already hit me for telling that joke.

Two for One

Yesterday Skipped Blog
I was quaffing Grog
At someones Retirement
Cash bar, dollars spent
Good food
For an industrious dude
New job
Collegial Mob
Forgot to write
Before the night

There. That was for yesterday. Now for today:

I just returned from a birthday party for one of my daughter's friends held at a kids pizza parlor. You know the type with so-so pizza and token eating machines that hook a whole new generation of gamblers. Or, they could have employees walking around with trays announcing "sodas, sodas." It could also serve as training for Vegas casino cocktail pushers. Or - have a pizza served on indiginous peoples flatbread while keeping the machine, point redemption scheme the same and refer to it as "kids indian pizza gaming." (KIPZ) Hey it rhymes with poker chips.

Question of the Day

Today's question of the day comes from the character Jake on the sitcom Two and a Half Men and is submitted for your dining and dancing pleasure.

Do they let you have a last poop after your last meal?

This is worth pondering. What is one allowed if one is on his last hours on death row? Is it all about the inmate, or do they want a clean execution facilitated by empty bowles/bladder? And if the bowles/bladder are not empty, who gets to clean up?

HOW TO ANNOY PEOPLE AND PROVE YOU'RE A GEEK

1. Go to an organic foods store and ask for a benzene soda.
2. Order a glass of hydroxyl acid at a restaurant
3. Carry a wallet sized copy of the periodic table of the elements with you at all times. Display it anytime someone asks for your ID card.
4. Enter into a discussion of weight VS. mass anytime someone tells you how much they weigh. Make sure to discuss force during the process.
   
5. Bitch-slap anyone who says any given product is "light years ahead of its time."
   

Things to do today.

1. Allow myself to be offended by a random blog posting. Write the responsible blogger and tell her that chickens is people too.
2. Initiate my plan to get invited to be a guest on Glenn Beck. I want to be just like him when I grow up.
3. Initiate my plan to be interviewed by Al Franken. Iwant to be just like him when I grow up.
4. Learn to play the glockenspiel.
5. Fail miserably at 2-4 above and blame the blog posting that offended me for said failure.

Fire?

A passel of firefighters from the city came through the chem/biology lab building on campus today to get a better idea of the chemicals we use and how/where they are stored. On any response, firefighters are a little concerned about what might be found on scene - even on a small shed fire, the questions are what caused the fire and what is in the shed or structure. This question grows exponentially if the structure involved is a science lab building. They seemed to enjoy the tour and liked the set-up in the stockroom and I got some ideas for better labeling the cabinets and expanding the stockroom directory. Anyway, after about 15-20 minutes, I bade farewell to my bros as they ventured off into the research lab part of the building. That is where the real fun is.

Remember the RMS Titanic.

Cool Album Cover Art

In No Particular Order

The Grand Illusion
Ship Arriving Too Late to Save Drowning Witch
Dark Side of the Moon
Feats Don't Fail Me Now
Terrapin Station

Awesome Lines from the Movies

Yes, there are others, but ...

"African or European?"
"Seven years of college down the drain."
"Plastics."
"It's a big building with patients, but that's not important..."
"That's HEDLEY!"
"It was a Jump to Conclusions mat."

Artists on my iPOD (Vol II)

.
Deep Purple
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Steve Miller
Lynyrd Skynyrd
Van Halen (pre 1980's)

Ode to Rotting Fish

I served in the Peace Corps in Isaan (Northeast Thailand) during the late '80s and fell in love with the food, especially the village fare. A common dish served with sticky rice is a salad made mostly from green papaya, peppers, and chunky fish sauce. This is not the odoriferous liquid many of you may be aware of, but the excessively fragrant/pungent/offensive semisolid primordial fish ooze used when the wimpy watery stuff just won't do. Think of Coors Light vs. a stout. One whiff grows hair where manly men want hair to grow. The problem is finding some of the real stuff outside of Isaan. Even in Thailand, one may have to search for it. It is, therefore, understanding that I took the opportunity to travel to Chiang Mai in 2005 to attend a chemistry conference with my former research advisor. We arrived at the conference hotel and ventured into the attached shopping mall in search of some gob khow, aka food. I was confident I could find sticky rice in the North, but knew dom bahk hung was pure fantasy, especially in a fancy mall. Only an idiot would allow that stench in a confined space. Then I smelled it! Ahhh, the pungent odor of pla daek. Then I saw the sign proclaiming som tom Lao. I was happier than a $1,000,000 grant winning professors kid at Christmas. I ordered a plate of sticky rice with the concoction complete with the chunky rotting fish sauce. Grinning from ear to ear, I sat across the table from the professor where I could bless him with the odor of rotting fish, and commenced noshing on some truly fine eats. He asked what the odor was. I told him. He asked if I was really going to eat rotten fish. I told him. He was both offended and impressed. I was happy - I had sticky rice and som tom Lao. I was alive and my hair was no longer thinning.

Word of the Day

Deliquescence

Not being used to the heat and humidity of the tropics, the Peace Corps volunteer underwent deliquescence.

AN AWARD FOR IMPERFECT ATTENDANCE?

I've spent the past couple of days at home with my third grade daughter who hasn't been feeling well. Normally, I would have sent her off to school this morning, but it is standardized testing week at her school. It seems that is a student gets sick part way through a section and can't complete it, they fail that section. This may not seem like a huge deal when the test is not part of the grading process for the student, but one must remember that it is really a test for the school and if a student doesn't fininsh a section, the school gets "dinged." Given such, students who are not feeling 100% this week are encouraged to stay home. Students who otherwise would be told to "tough it out" are now told to go home and their parents are called to pick them up. I find it strange that a school winds up discouraging students from attending classes. I do not think this is what "No child left behind" was intended to do.

Some of My Favorite Places

1) Maha Sarakham Province, Thailand (it means Great Knowledge)
2) The Front Range of Colorado
3) Phu Kradung National Park, Thailand (pine trees in the tropics - how cool is that?)
4) Kona, HI
5) Black Hills of SD
6) Flagstaff, AZ

Doggie Dreams

Do you ever wonder what dogs dream of? I think our yellow lab, Star sometimes dreams of being in a tennis ball factory and is assigned to test the balls for bounce, durability and slobber adhesion. Our black whatever-it-is, Bear probably dreams of stealing the tennis ball from Star. Dogs and children add a tremendous amount of life to a household. A few years ago when our daughter was 4 or 5 years old someone asked her what kind of dog Star is and she replied "A yellow laboratory." I wonder if she ever said that I work in a chemistry labrador.

Artists NOT on my iPOD

1) The Mormon Tabernacle Choir

2) The Fugs (I'm not sure I'm old enough to understand the sarcasm)

3) Sister Sledge

4) Megadeth

5) Strawberry Alarm Clock

Fun With Place Names

After violating the penal codes in Middlesex, the retired plumber from Flushing visited Hygiene during a sanitation workers strike. He later found temporary work as a pianist in Regina.

Thanks to:
Middlesex, MA
Flushing, NY
Hygiene, CO
Regina, SK

Jobing.com Arena (Try to say it with a straight face.)

Artists on my IPod

Carlos Santana
Ike & Tina Turner
T Rex
Neil Young
Martha Reeves
Particle Zoo

Favorite Saying

I want to be what I was
when I wanted to be what I am now.


Even if it isn't true, this is one of my favorites.

Word for the day: OBTUSE

Blessed with mental acuity, Ingrid realized her geometry teacher was obtuse.