O Canada We Stand On Guard For Thee

Some men call their former girl friends when they get drunk, others call for help.

I ran across a news item about a man in Manitoba who dialed 911 (sometime last year) to demand the return of the Winnipeg Jets. Although I empathize with the man, he needs to realize 1: The Jets left Winnipeg about 14 years ago. 2: As witnessed during the last two weeks of the 2009-2010 season, Phoenicians will venture out to the worst named arena on the planet to watch hockey if the team wins a few games. 3: If the Coyotes move back north of the border, they are far more likely to land in Hamilton than Winnipeg. 4: He is lucky to have done this in Canuckistan where people understand what alcoholic beverages do to hockey fans. 5: Glendale is home to the WORST NAMED ARENA in the universe. I don't know what that has to do with the other 4, but "Jobing.com Arena?" The naming committee needs to present possible names to a group of 11-111 year old males before final approval. If there are snickers, guffaws, chortles, or laughs, the suggested name fails. Even a well-bred proper Mormon mom would shoot green Jell-O from her nose on that one.

I hope Manitoba does land a team in the future, but for now I am (Deleted Expletive) glad there is a team within 224km (metric as a nod to the denizens of "the True North strong and free") of where I live. If (when?) they leave I am likely to emulate the puck-head and dial 911 demanding the return of the team. Nobody ever said one needed to be smart to be a hockey fan. And for me even a fan of teams formerly known as the North Stars, or Colorado Rockies is a hockey fan. And as with firefighters, a brother is a brother, even if they like Dallas, or New Jersey.