With the date where I conclude another trip around the sun approaching, my wife and daughter conspired with a friend to treat me to something special at a hockey game last Tuesday. In longer terms: (You know the tune - sorry to the Gear Daddies for the following liberties)

I went down to the Coyotes arena
Where I met the P.R. gal
She came from her office, said "Sir, you must be he."
I looked back at her and said "Yes I am."

I get to ride the Zamboni... Hey
I get to ride the Zamboni - Yes I do.

Now ever since I was young, it's been my dream
That I might ride a Zamboni Machine
I'd wave to the fans as proud as could be
And all the kids would wave back at me

I get to ride the Zamboni
I get to ride the Zamboni - Yes I do!

Now the P.R. Gal said "Man that looks keen."
And that she's never rode that expensive machine
And she's been helping folks ride for years
And she loves it so much she gives them cheers.

Yep. I got to ride a Zamboni right before the game. My daughter acted wild just (seconds) before the puck dropped and got her pic on the big screen. AND..AND...AND the desert doggies actually won. The P.R. woman was way cool, and said she had the best job in the world because she takes hockey fans downstairs to ride the Zamboni. This is something all hockey fans love to do. My wife and daughter tried to take some pics, but none turned out well. Probably because I was moving and the glass makes things blurry. Anyway here is one attempt. (Thanks to my wife, daughter and H)

Can U Cipher And Drive At The Same Time

As I age I find that I sometimes drive slower than molasses on a Minnesota midwinter midnight (AKA about the speed limit.) This usually does not prove to be an issue unless it is on a 7 mile long 2 lane winding road terminating at Snowbowl. For some reason people want to drive over 50 MPH on this posted 30-35 MPH road in the hopes that they will get more skiing in if they reach the parking lot 3-4 minutes faster. So they pass me in the no passing zone (the entire road.) I keep thinking they will be stupid enough to take the corners at a high rate of speed, but they seem to come to their senses for those. I know these 3-4 minutes are important because I see these folks in the parking lot farting with their mp3 players and other accouterments d' ski/snowboard. Despite their rush to arrive quickly, I still manage to make it on the lift before them. On the other hand because I ski like the aging fart I am, they beat me down the hill and on the lift for the next trip down the slope. Once at the top of the lift, there is more farting with the previously mentioned equipment and the cycle repeats. Oh, the snow is still adequate for skiing, but probably wont be by the weekend. The demands from the piece of plastic from Arizona Snowbowl that I wear around my neck will have to go unanswered until more snow falls.

Trying To Find My Way Back

I have suddenly realized that my blog has lost it's original edge of anti-seriousness and sarcasm. This is due to an extreme dose of paranoia that anything I write may be used against me in the future. I could be on trial or serve as a witness someday and have to answer to items in this blog. That is why I refrain from making comparisons between a specific upper level administrator at a specific institution of higher education and fictional humanoids with hairy feet that live in dwellings with round doors. I'm sure we can envision it now: "Now then Mr. R," said the attorney with a lilt of smugness in his voice, "Is it not true that you said the president of the university and the local mayor could get a 2-for-1 special on What Not To Wear?" I would reply something like, "No, it is quite true." The prosecution would then inquire "No, it is true?" I would then be kind enough to point out the use of a double negative in the attorney's original inquiry. That combined with the likelihood that I would be wearing a cartoon character necktie would seal my fate. So it's a good thing I don't compare people to Hobbits.

And Now The Instant Replay

See the previous blog for what happened at 3:30 on Monday afternoon. Except this time I made the important call when the alarm went off. I was also leaving for an appointment at the exact instant the alarm sounded so I do not know if there was an odor issue. Today, I was thanked by the building manager for my prompt call to him. As it turns out, the fire detectors in the autoclave rooms are set for smoke, not heat so when steam is released, the detectors think it is smoke and sound off. They will be reset for temperature to avoid repeated soundings.

Hot and Steamy Times in the Science Lab Building

Friday afternoon one of the autoclaves in the building released a larger than normal cloud of steam. Kind of like a mechanical fart. This set off the fire alarm, sending the occupants out into the chilly wind. Meanwhile inside the building, the HVAC shut down as it is supposed to when the alarm is activated. Although most of the sophisticated system reactivates when the alarm is shut off, the "make-up air" does not. This results in numerous odors accumulating in the building resulting in an aroma not unlike ass. This makes sense as vapors/fumes from the can, drains, etc are part of the intoxicating environment. After a couple of calls, the HVAC was working properly and the building smelled like a building and not a forest service outhouse. The moral of the story is: Don't fart in an enclosed space.

Geek Alert

Today being 3/3/9 is one of nine square root days a century. I think I'll celebrate it by doing something square. I could 1) eat only square meals, 2) watch Sponge Bob Squarepants, 3) act like a square 4) make sure all corners are square or 5) go square dancing. It is also the day of the science fair at my daughter's school. How cool is it for it to fall on square root day? We will have to wait for April 4th of 2016 for the next one. How will you observe the occasion?