Working in a university science laboratory building, one never knows what to expect when reporting to work in the morning. Sometime between 7:00 and 8:00 this morning, this "display" appeared in one of the common areas of the third floor. A previously toynapped inflatable cheetah appeared with another inflatable animal toy in this bed. The nightstands make a real nice touch. No, the bed does not belong there. I am now paranoid that vapors and fumes are accumulating in our climate controlled building and causing our graduate and undergraduate researchers to partake in pranks that are confusing even by science geek standards.

Save The Buckets!

Another weekend is drawing to an end and I wonder how many people I was able to either humor or offend. I usually manage to inadvertently do both to the same person with the same comment. My friends sem to be disappointed when I fail to take the opportunity to monopolize on onothers comment, so I usually run with the opening. This almost always works out fine, but I have had to do some fast talking on several occasions whrn the seven-foot tall 325 pound logger/sawyer in the bar does not share my sense of humor and thinks my sarcastic comment was directed at him. This is when I refrain from comments about it being wrong that such a tough tree trunk has such a thin skin -- or was that something about a stump? Oh, well. I am also under the impression that the more opportunities I pass on , the greater the pressure inside and before one knows it we have a situation reminiscent of Mr. Creosote in "The Meaning of Life." I guess I'll continue to provide commentary and conserve buckets.

Has Anyone Seen The Dog?

Yeterday, Kim's summer camp grpup went to a zoo of sorts named "Out Of Africa" about 80KM south of here. Our usually reserved nine-year old pet this snake.

Another Bad Joke Warning

The opthamology student named Iris explained her frustration with being referred to as a pupil to her blind carpenter father. His only response was "I see." as he picked up his hammer and saw.

Wimbledon on Tour in Flagstaff.

The world as we know it is near an end, at least to a nine-year-old's black and white logic. It seems she gave a "whatever" as a response to one of her mother's request-commands despite a warning that if it ever happened again she would be grounded until school starts. The conversation in our house is a tennis volley of a tearful "But you said..." followed by the return "But you might get another chance, and I can change my mind." followed by a "But you said..." I just sit here blogging, and it is probably a good thing, because I would interject a logical, factual and helpful "But, you said..." And if I did, I would be an instant eunich, so I will continue to blog until the world gets another day, and before I find a more appropriate way of saying "But you said..." In fact, Kim has realized that although she has some consequences, she is not grounded for the next seven weeks. Patty is reading a bedtime story to her and she is quietly lisening. The world is already much better, and I get to keep my globes. Life is good again.

How To Put The "PRO" In Procrastination!

As the fiscal year draws to a close, I have been trying to balance the department's local and state accounts. During this process, I have realized that I must have been brain-dead for the past few months as things that should have been reimbursed from other university departments have not been, but only because I have not submitted the paperwork. This afternoon I found $12K+ from an October transaction to be reimbursed into our state account. This is the third significant months old reimbursement I have discovered in the past week. I must have been distracted by something. By what, I don't know.

Another day in the high 80s.

Wanting to make something good, quick and at least semi-light for dinner tonight, I came up with shrimp scampi overr angel hair pasta, steamed broccoli, and a wedge of lettuce. Even Kim liked it, but said next time I should use less pepper. She is probably right. The best part is I didn't need to fire up the oven and make the house even hotter.

The good news is I did get an early start on staining the deck today and we finished before 10:00 so the sun could help bake the chemicals into the desiccated wood. It's a good thing our dogs use the back yard, otherwise the s in desiccated may have to be an f. That would be icky.

When Did We Get This Boring

Our daughter had a friend sleep over at our house last night and as a form of retribution she is sleeping at her house tonight. She also spent the whole afternoon there. So what did the parental units do with the freedom? We went to the local tavern where I had a glass of merlot and Patty had a rum and coke. Then we went home and Patty watched TV while I took a nap. After I woke up there was more TV time while we waited for the ambient temperature to drop below 85. Don't laugh folks, 85 is a hot day in Flag. I lightly sanded the deck and washed it off in preparation for staining it tomorrow morning. While I was doing this, Patty vacuumed the floor and took the covers off the sofa chshions and washed them. What a use of being temporarily kidless. I supose it counts as foreplay.

Anderson Cooper and Dogs

As we wind down the day by throwing the tennis ball in the house for the dogs to chase, Anderson Cooper on CNN is anchoring coverage of the floods in IA and MO. Levee broke blah, blah, blah, underwater blah, blah, 1993, blah blah. Happen again, blah blah blah, development in the flood plain, blah, blah, blah, should we develop in the flood plain, blah, blah, OOPS! the ball wasn't supposed to go there. Should we really play ball in the house?

Please Define Insignificant.

What does it mean when a cardiologist says something is abnormal, but insignificant? Is that similar to a minor breach of a levee? Or is it more like when a teenager reports that she is a little bit pregnant?

No, It Isn't Orange And Shaped Like A Football

I have decided that my sense of humor is best described as a "run-away 50 thousand ton Nerf freight train."

Emails Not To Send.

Note to self:
Refrain from sending following email friends who are visiting China:

Dear Friend,
Please adjust spellings as we discussed prior to your departure.
Thank you for financing my recent trip to the city pound where I was able to LIBERATE an INDEPENDANT minded LHASA apso from its' OPRESSORS. I have named it DOLLY. I enjoy watching it bark at the neighbors LLAMAS.

Thankfully,

Ty and Bette

The authorities there may not understand my sense of humor.

Beer, TV and Snacks

There was once a great philosopher who contended that Father's Day is like Mother's Day, but for men and shall be called BEERTVSNACKS Day. At least that is what the Father's Day card our dogs got me says His name is Homer and he lives in Springfield. Millions of family men have benefitted from his wisdom.

I've got bats near my belfry!

We wound up at an outdoor party/mini fair at one of the elementary schools in town today. There were free burgers, hot dogs, sodas, games and baloon animals. Kim wound up getting a tattoo of a koala, and I got talked into getting one of red bats (the flying mammal type) on my arm. It looks more like a mottled bruise, so it't probably a good thing it is temporary.

K and M are metric metrics - learn them!

It never ceases to amaze me the number of people who exclaim that "Flagstaff is such a small town!" Flagstaff may not be a teeming metropolis of three, two, or even oneM souls, but it is far from a small town. Although I grew up in a place with a population nearly 50% more numerous than Flag, I have also lived in a small town. The town I lived in before moving here had a population of 653, that's only 3 more than my high school graduating class. A news flash folks, 60K is NOT a SMALL TOWN. Flagstaff is 90-100 times more populous than Hill City, SD. Hill City IS a small town. Flagstaff is not. I have a friend who grew up in the L.A. area who agrees with this. So why do so many people state the contrary. I conclude that these people have never seen, let alone lived in a city of fewer than 250K people. I pity them.

Lava and Algae, and Kids, Oh My.

Kim had a field trip to the lava tube as part of her summer Mountain Jacks Kids Camp/Dolphin Day Camp program and returned tired and hungry. Because all our protein sources for dinner were still in the freezer we decided to dine on fat and salt laden evil fast food. As Kim was taking a spoonfull of ice cream from her frosty float, she asked if we could go out for ice cream after dinner. I fully understood the logic of this, but wanted to make sure she did, and pointed out that the float had ice cream in it. In all the surliness a nine-year-old can muster she said "I know, but I want a dipped cone." Anyway, she got what she wanted, but only because I wanted a dip cone. I tell myself that because it was soft-serve it has some sort of algae/sea flora derivitive in it and must be healthy in a warped macrobiotic way. Either that or my gut is now lined with media suitable for growing bacterial culture.

Seeing What I Want To

There is a tremendous amount of construction on campus these days ranging from repairing damage to a broken water main to finishing an addition to the dining hall at the student union. There are contractors vehicles, backhoes, front end loaders, and fences everywhere. This coincides with the arrival of various conferences, incoming students and their parents for new student orientation, and other activities that result with campus crawling with people who have not seen campus without construction. As I was walking along the pedway, one of the visitors was coming the other way and commented that we had a beautiful campus. It dawned on me that even with all the mess, NAU is in a beautiful location and I was able to see past the construction and see the trees, mountains, and all else that make NAU and Flagstaff a great place to be. I will need to remember this over the next few years as several MAJOR projects are slated to start. We also just finished 3 new 80,000sqf or larger buildings.

Pobre Citos

I can always tell when my diet has gone to hell and I haven't been to the gym by how little it takes to set me off. Such was the case this morning when I was at a use-tax training/information session for the business managers at the university. Everyone in the room could have easily fit in the first 4 rows, but most people were sitting 8-10 rows back. These are not high school students. These are 30, 40 and even 50 something degree holding professional university employees who should know how to set an example for others. As it would happen, one of the speakers had a soft voice and could not reach the microphone, which didn't work well anyway. The people in the back kept yelling that they could not hear her. As their frustration grew they began yelling microphone using directions to her, but nothing could be done to have her reach, let alone use the malfunctioning equipment. It took a whole flotilla of Viking warriors to keep me from telling them to move their bony/fat asses to the front. I did exclaim that they should sit in the front without mentioning anything about their bodily proportions. Fortunately nobody heard me, because my reputation in this crowd is already well circulated. This is pathetic that a group of educated adults sits far from the front then complains that they are deprived of the information presented. Pin heads. Twits. State employees. Vacuum headed, vestigal brained bimbos. The good news is I was able to make it to the gym and work off some of my aggrevation.

Extra Lazy Monday.

Today ended with extreme laziness. Despite having a refrigerator full of leftovers, our daughter talked us into doing a frozen pizza thing. Now how lazy does one have to be to bake a frozen pizza instead of reheating leftovers? In case anyone is wondering, the leftovers consist of oven roasted red potatoes, green beans and chicken cordon bleu. Oh, there is also peach cobbler and lemon pie - all home made. We promise to have the leftovers tomorrow.

Easily Influenced

I sit here watching television and have the sudden urge to run out and buy a box of lavender lilac Gain laundry detergent and a vanilla whatever Swiffer. Unfortunately, I will not have any money left after I buy a Clapper. It's probably all for the best as the vapors from the detergent could mix with the vapors from the Swiffer and have the same result as mixing bleach with ammonia. I wonder when they will come out with scents for men. They could have beer and pizza scented soaps, and motor oil and tire rubber after shave.

No More Pencils...

Kim finished the third grade today and is all set for her summer day camp which starts tomorrow. The program is called 'Mountain Jacks Kids Camp/Dolphin Day Camp" and is run by the recreation center of Northern Arizona University. She was in it last year and had a great time and is hoping for the same this year.

The season's over. Waaaaah!

Thus endeth another season of hockey. At least the Pens made the Red Wings work a little for it, and at least I like Detroit enough not to be too upset. They are such a disciplined well oiled team stocked with well seasoned players. As tired as I am of them, I usually wind up admitting to myself that they deserve to win. If the stanley cup could talk, it would tell some wild tales.

Soft Drinks For The Kiddies

If one were to mix a Roy Rogers with a Shirley Temple, would the result be a hog-tied Shirley?

Poor dejected doggie

Our dog Bear is having a hard time lately as she does not understand that I am yelling "No no no no no no!" at the T.V. when the wrong team is about to score a goal. She is even at the point where she leaves the room and avoids me. I've tried explaining the blue lines to her, but she seems disinterested and confused.