How To Flip Lefse

Kim demonstrates how to flip lefse. That kid has some Norskie in her - and from both Mom's and Dad's side of the family. It sure shows.

Oh, Crap!!

It is with great sadness that I report that Dakota passed away today. I do not know what happened, just that Dakota seemed fine yesterday. Kim is taking it appropriately, and even the dogs seem a tad out of sorts. The thing in the vivarium is no longer there. I found the ground too hard and frozen to dig, (believe me, I tried) and flushing Dakota or tossing her(?) in the trash was also out of the question. The solution came to be to take her to the vet for cremation - it may be a lizard, but it is a pet - and pick up the remains in a pretty little pot in a week or two. Don't ask how much it will cost. I'll leave it at this - more than a tank of gasoline, and less than a 19" or 20" flat screen TV. Kim has decided to get a new beardie within a week or two. I'll keep you posted on the name. The front runners are "Zamboni", "Colorado" and "Lefse."

Geologic Reproduction

Our daughter had a tooth pulled today, and it was HUGE. Patty commented that she now has a crater in her mouth to which Kim replied "The Grand Canyon had a baby!" I'd post a pic of the tooth, but that would just be gross. Even for me.

Brotherhood

As many of you may have read, I spent a chapter or two of my life playing volunteer firefighter. The bonds that form between firefighters are strong, tight and unbreakable. I doubt they ever bend. This is even true among those who can not stand the sight of each other. A brother is a brother - or sister for that matter. The bonds between firefighters who become friends can not be measured and last long after they leave the fire service. Anyway, we received a call this evening informing us that one who was particularly close suddenly passed Sunday afternoon. Steve, you will be missed. You treated our daughter as one of your own and showered her with presents every Christmas. You played Santa at seasonal fire department functions, and Kim always knew it was you. We traded dog sitting duties when we took our vacations. You and Jan (also from the fire service) invited us and others to your wedding in Hawaii. You were a brother and a friend, a father and a dog lover, a firefighter and a backyard chef, an artist and a surveyer. After I finish this post I will pour myself a second glass of wine and wait for my other 2/3 to go to bed so they won't see a brother cry. Bless you. And Jan, your brothers and sisters are always here for you. We are family. The wine and tears await.

At least I had a beer.

So after the fondant and cake bit a few weeks ago, I redeemed myself by tinkering with a cloths dryer that suddenly stopped working, and then tackling the "I refuse to close" back window on our mini van. Just as I was feeling male again, I realize how I have spent much of the past 30 hours.

Friday evening: Put yest, milk, sugar, salt, and flour into my (yes, my) Kitchen Aid mixer and mix until it forms a soft, moist dough. Put dough in a bag and place in the refrigerator. Clean bowl and place lots and lots and lots (AKA about 1 pound) of butter and a little flour in mixer and mix. Form into a 5 x 6 x 1 inch block and chill in refrigerator overnight. Repeat 3 times - Hell if I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna make lots!

Saturday: Roll out 1 batch of the dough into a 10 x 17 inch rectangle. Place one of the butter/flour blocks on the dough and center it. I'd shoot for the "five hole," but I'm baking and not playing hockey. (I said to "center it") Wrap the ends of the dough around the butter block and seal. Using a French rolling pin, pound the package out to a 14 x 6 x 1 inch rectangle. If dough/butter block is still cool, roll out to a ~25 x ~14 inch rectangle. Fold into thirds so it is about 8 x 14 inches. Wrap in plastic and chill for 2 hours. Repeat for the other two batches of dough and butter blocks.
After the chill, roll the dough/butter into a rectangle about 25 x 14 inches. Fold into a 14 x 8 inch rectangle, wrap and chill for at least 2 hours. Repeat for the others. After the chill roll each batch into a rectangle about 25 inches by 14 inches - do a "wallet fold" to end up with a rectangle about 14 by 6 inches. Cut into rectangles about 6 by 7 inches. Cover each with plastic and chill for at least two hours.
Crack open a bottle of beer and take a swig. Keep beer handy. Swig as needed during the remaining process. Roll each 6 by 7 inch rectangle into a rectangle about 24 by 15 inches. Fold into a 12 by 15 inch rectangle. Cut into triangles with a base between 3 and four inches long - unfold and separate the triangles. Wrap in plastic and freeze for formation into croissant shapes on Thursday.

Where the Wild Things' Boogers Are

The family finally went to see Where the Wild Things Are today, and we all liked it. Our ten year old daughter absolutely loved it, and claims it is the best movie she has ever seen - after Titanic. She was able to immediately make the connection between the wild things and Max's feelings. Simply a well done adaptation of the book. Many critics have provided negative reviews of the adaptation due to the slight darkness of the film, the focus on Max's rage and childish expression of it. Ummm - Max is a child so his dealings with it will be childish. Duh! I think these folks were expecting a film suited for a three year old. I remind them that although the book is written at a level suited for early readers, the story is for a slightly older group.

In other news, my daughter has decided that she will refer to all biologists as "Boogeroligists." I wish there were some clue to where she gets it.

Fun with Fondant

I was asked to make a cake for a friend's birthday, and decided to try working with fondant. From a distance it looked great. Up close it showed the mark of a fondant virgin and I had to use some leftover butter cream frosting to cover the defects. I was hesitant to use fondant due to its reputation, but a little raspberry flavoring and it turned out just fine. My daughter even made one of the flowers. I also think I need a night with the boys before I do something even gayer than cake decorating.

Saturday Night in Phoenix

A great way to spend a Saturday Night in the Valley. Even better was Coyotes 4, Bruins 1.

Dive Right In

My daughter had her first dive meet yesterday, and can't wait for the next one. She has been diving for only 4-1/2 months so she has a lot to feel good about. I wonder what she will be doing in another 5 months.

One Down, Many To Go

New Season, new coach. Desert Doggies 6, Kings 3. HOWL! Lets hope I howl my voice out during the next 6-8 months. It's only one, but it's better than none. Once again HOWL! Oh, the Lumberjacks won too! But... The Buffs lost on Thursday and the Rams trail Idaho as I write this.

Has it really been this long since I added to this blog? I guess so. I often think I have nothing to blog about, but when I get going there is little one can do to stop me. About 2-1/2 months ago we cleaned our daughter's fish tank as usual, but I probably added too much algicide and the two fishies were dead the next morning. For the previous year, Kim has been asking "When my fish die can I get a hamster?" And we would say "No." and enumerate the reasons why - including the noise, odor, mess, and general pain in the buttness of having a hairy rodent in the house. Anyway we were now victims of the question: "Do I get a hamster now?" I responded with a "How about a lizard?" as I braced myself for a "Ewwwwwwwww, NO NO NO NO NO! I want a hamster!" I did not get that. As we were due to go a vacation in a few days, an immediate replacement was out of the question, but we did go directly to a pet store. Within half an hour she had decided on a bearded dragon, AND picked the name DAKOTA. Dakota has been a great addition to our house and I hope to write about the reptile often.

Splish Splash

A whale of a good time at Seaworld!

Coolness in Carlsbad

I usually avoid things that I think might be cheesy like the plague, thus it was with much trepidation that I allowed myself to enter the SEA LIFE AQUARIUM associated with LEGOLAND and located just outside the main gate to the monument to Danish building blocks. The anticipated curdled aged milk quality of the edifice waned as soon as I came across the tank of shark embryos. (expletive deleted) COOL!

The Little Young Lady From Carlsbad

One of our daughter's favorite things at LEGOLAND was the cars that kids get to drive. There is a course set up not unlike the courses we had during driver's ed classes in the seventies. The difference is that someone dumped money into this one so there are actual curbs and traffic lights. That and the kids cars are battery operated and go slow. Anyway here she is a few moments before getting her laminated driver's license.

You Could Complain, But That Would Be Piddly!

Yesterday I blogged about the detail of the displays at LEGOLAND. Today I continue this string. As many of you know, I played volunteer firefighter for a number of years, and although that chapter of my life is closed, I still am drawn to things firefighter. I am also drawn to juvenile and crude humor. This explains why I loved this particular lego construction of the quintessential dalmatian and hero firefighter.

Then I got another view and loved it even more.

Seeing is Believing

During our trip to LEGOLAND we we impressed with the displays made out of legos. I fund some of the attention to detail particularly fascinating; not only were the people in the stands good, but the side of the Capitol had an added element that many would overlook.

The Port-a-Potties! With people waiting to use them!

Thin air kills brain cells

We mountain dwellers tend to despise heat, so it is natural that we head off to Palm Desert with two other mountain dwelling families in late July for a week of vacation. Monday is supposed to be 114 degrees. Sounds like a good day to head off to legoland and cool off in the sub 80 degree weather.

Row, row, row your boat.

I have frequently wondered about the logic of heading to "the lake" for the day. I have always thought that being confined to a shadeless expanse of blazing sun was a form of torture reserved for international terrorists. I am not talking about fishing. Spending the day fishing makes sense to me, but just hanging out at the lake has often baffled me, so when one of our daughter's friends decided to have his birthday party at Lake Mary complete with canoes and kayaks, I feigned enthusiasm, dreading baking under the 95 degree sun for 3 hours. Besides, I had not paddled a canoe in over 20 years. Anyway, Saturday we headed off to the lake for a day baking in the sun for three hours. The result: After 5 (3 was not enough) hours paddling canoes and kayaks in the sun I have concluded I WANT A CANOE, I WANT A KAYAK, I WANT A TRAILER OR RACK TO HAUL SAID TOYS TO THE LAKE. I WANT A CANOE OR KAYAK. I WANT A KAYAK OR CANOE. I WANT BOTH! I WANT BOTH NOW! I am also pissed off that nobody ever told me that a day at the lake is fun. Nobody told me that one simply ignores the heat and sun. (is this enough sarcasm?) Maybe somebody could profess that there is logic in heading to "the lake" for the day.

This better not last long

How hot is it?

1) So hot that the Phoenicians stay in the valley because it isn't worth the drive

2) The fish are fried right out of the lake

3) People head to the kitchen because they can't stand the heat

4) The folks in Flagstaff complain about the heat

Aging Dog And New Trick

This evening, our daughter became bored and wound up putting on her inline skates, heading off to the road with Patty and practicing skating. I took the hint and put mine on as well. The idea of strapping wheels on ones feet never made sense to me as I am more of a metal blade on a boot guy, but I have a pair of "eBay special" inline skates for just such an occasion. The problem is that my inline skates have no brakes, thus I need to do a power slide to stop. Err, learn how to power slide to stop. Err, learn to power slide on asphalt to stop. Err learn to power slide on asphalt on a slight downhill grade in the dark to stop. Oh, what the heck, I'll just spin and change directions, or coast until the downhill becomes level. I'll learn the power slide some other day.

Life Is A Cartoon

This morning as we were tooling along Mountainaire Road on our way to town, Mr. Wile E.Coyote traipsed across the road about 25 yards in front of our car. I have frequently heard the mangy doggies yipping in the evenings when I am on our back deck, and have seen an occasional one in fields beside highways, but have never seen one on the roadway itself. Let alone that close to houses. I was reminded of a year or two ago when our daughter spotted a roadrunner (yes, it really was - papa and daddy saw it too) near our house. This was unexpected as they do not usually hang out at this elevation. I guess I'll have to wear one of my (in)famous cartoon ties come payday to celebrate. That and avoid cliffs. And anvils, and anything made by the Acme company. In any event we continued with trepidation just in case there were phony panoramas or "instant hole" residue along our path. Beep Beep!

I hope He Wasn't Called Home Without It.

Okay, Okay Johnny, I understand you need to get a show together, but you already had your announcer and two guests. Do you really need a pitch man for the ads, a comedian, and a tried and true veteran actor? I hate to admit that I thought Karl had already passed, but I have been proven wrong. Do they take the American Express Card in the afterlife? And will The Streets of San Francisco ever be safe again?

The Tonight Show In The Afterlife

Well it would appear that Johny Carson is preparing a show in the afterlife and has called for his announcer and two special guests for the show. Ed can once again declare "Here's Johnny!" and later make room for Farrah and Michael on the couch. The angel is finally out of her pain and suffering. Farrah, you remained beautiful until the end. I find it a rip-off of sorts that her passing will be obscured by the passing of Michael Jackson who has delt with his own pain over the years. This feeling of Farrah being cheated stems from her days in Charlie's Angels when I was in junior high school and like many males between 10 and 110 was "enchanted" by her beauty. In other words, she was a babe - something I never felt about Michael. I do not want to take anything away from Michael, but I have disliked most of his work since 1980 - I even think Thriller was a waste that fell light years short of the hype surrounding it. Anyway, it should be a good show. I wonder if Carnac the Magnificent will be there.

The Return of Ullr

A week or so ago, I blogged about Snowbowl and courts and Ullr. Well, it seems that Ullr came through again in the Coyoted/Hamilton drama. I just hope the management of the team gets their act together and gets that arena packed. I might suggest realizing that there is more of Arizona than Phoenix, and doing some PUBLICIZED appearences in NORTHERN (read Flagstaff) Arizona. Perhaps have a Northern AZ night, or offer a game/hotel package for those who do not want to dodge elk on I-17 at midnight on icy roads after the game. Anyway, Praise Ullr again.

Thank You Pens!

Note to engraver:

Dear Engraver,

When you come to Mr. Crosby's name, think of the town in Nebraska, NOT the city in Australia. In other words use the letter "i" instead of "y." It will be correct and not use any more space on the cup.

Get some rest boys, you have all earned it! As for the Red Wings - Heck of a 7 games; you helped me de-stress by making me scream at the T.V. Again - GOOD series. I'll see ya in October!

I just realized this means the season is over - DRAT!

Riskytruk Gets Religopolitical

Yesterday, the supreme court decided not to review the En Banc decision of the ninth circuit court of appeals regarding Arizona Snowbowl using treated waste water for snow making. Although I am sympathetic to the views of the environmentalists and Native Peoples, I am not disappointed in the decision. Nor do I applaud it. I believe that the treatment process removes all the poopies and pissies from the effluent and the argument that using treated waste water is akin to using sewage for baptisms is pure manure. I also believe that the treatment process in question does not remove all the chemical residue from medications, drugs and cleaning products, thus I am reluctant to imbibe the fluid. The opposition should focus on this argument, not the poop/piss issue. Furthermore, although I do ski, it is not simply recreation. I feel commanded by Ullr to ski - whenever and wherever. It is a spiritual experience for me, and given the fact that my ancestors worshipped Ullr, it is a religious issue. In short if allowed to move forward, Ullr will teach the Kastinas skiing while the Kastinas will teach Ullr some spiritual dance steps. So in short - Glory to Ullr! Now I just need to wait for the decision on the Coyotes/Hamilton issue. Since this is a winter sport issue, perhaps Ullr needs to get involved again.

AZ flexes some muscle.

It would seem that the University has decided to pay attention to the issues surrounding how the the chemical fume hoods and the HVAC system behave in the lab building when the fire alarm goes off. (Either when tested or when a detector reads steam from a autoclave as smoke) - Thanks to to some prodding from the State Fire Marshall. It was something like this: Fix it or the building is closed in 10 days! (this would mean June 10th) Funny how something that has been an issue, but ignored by the upper tier of deciders for 30+ months becomes urgent. I mean URGENT!! A priority. Something that needs attention NOW! The good good folks at facilities have made great progress in the past 3 days. I just hope the wall of Fire Detector Company, Fume Hood Company, and HVAC Company can overcome their paranoia of proprietary information and start talking to each other so our folks can make the systems "talk" to each other and operate as they should. I expect this is like a 1980's Michael Stipe conversing with Ozzy Osbourne and Bob Dylan.

Exercise Is Good For Us

Again, I found myself riding my bicycle 10 miles to work for no reason other than I can. Although there is little NET elevation gain, there is a three mile climb up a moderate hill followed by about 2 miles of near level, but downhill. The trip ends with a very gradual uphill for the last mile. I usually question my wisdom once I am halfway through the moderate uphill portion, but realize once things level off that the climb was not that bad. The good news about this is I arrive at work energized and ready for work. I get the aggression out in a productive manner so when the day starts turning to crap, I remain calm. Today was a good day for this. I realized that the file for the inventory did not load correctly. When I went to reload it, I realized that the battery is old, does not hold a charge, and the file is no longer stored in the memory of the Telxon. So I ordered a new battery and plan to rescan everything in a week or so. The day got worse from there. By 15:00 I was snickering over the state of things in my world at work. Even better is that anything that revealed itself after 10:00 is not my fault, and well beyond my control. I am now preparing myself for the fallout for those things I do not control. Could be fun. Probably won't.

Do Not Plant A Garden Yet!

This morning when I let the dogs outside, they both went for a slide as they slipped on the ice that had formed on the deck. I then looked at the roofs in the neighborhood and saw they were all covered with frost. Later on in the morning as we drove into town, we saw a fresh layer of snow on the peaks. It looked like it was down to 9,000'. This is why I refrain from planting a garden until AFTER the first week of June. I will have fun next week explaining to vendors what happens at 7,000' elevation next week when they ask if we are hot here in AZ.

Has Anyone Seen A Canoe Lately?

What is up with this rain? First we had a dry March, then a warmer than normal April which caused fears that we were in for a long hot dry summer plagued with forest fires. May came along and started normally, (dry and windy) but suddenly has been acting near monsoonal. Don't get me wrong, we really need the rain, but it seems out of place for May. I just hope we still have the monsoon in July.

A Man And His Dogs

Tuesday night we rented and watched Marley And Me, a movie I have been avoiding watching due to a fear that I might react to it in a most non-male manner. There is something about movies mixing end of life and canines that will stir deep emotions in boys and men. The reactions in such flicks are stronger than during Bang The Drum Slowly or Brian's Song. If one wants to test the sensitivity of a grown man, plop him down in front of a T.V. set (or movie screen) and show him Old Yeller, or similar. As Marley And Me ended, I thought of the pets my family or I have had and how they left this earth. Towzer, a wire hair terrier died as a result of a dog fight where he was on the receiving end of 3-4 other dogs punishment. He was the dog I knew as a child and died when I was in the 3rd or 4th grade. During his final hour, I was busy playing a hockey game that my team lost. My brother's dog, Bear, an Old English Sheep Dog mix that he got when I was in the 4th grade succumbed to kidney failure when I was in college. When I was a Junior in college, my brother's next dog had a litter and I was given a pure white Shepherd/Malamute/Siberian mix with one blue eye and one brown eye. I named her Freyja and nicknamed her the "white wolf." She died suddenly some 7 years later while I was working for the forest service in South Dakota. Her litter mate, Marja died of old age a few years later. My wife had a poodle, Frisky, who suffered from old age/kidney failure was put down in the late '90s. Tungsten, a Siberian/Malamute/Whatever mix died after a seizure somewhere around 2001. Zmboni, a whatever mutt mix became ill, (some form of enteropothy) and was put down at the young age of 4. Narvik, another Husky mix died of old age 2 days before I was going to "do the deed." To this day, I believe she let herself go to save me the pain. I remember having lunch at a restaurant with friends when I felt a sudden "flash" and knew she had passed. Despite my daughter being alive for Tungsten and Zamboni, she was old enough to understand the finality of Narvik. For the next year, she blamed her grouchy moods on the loss of Narvik. This continued until we let her know that Narvik was no longer an excuse. We currently have a Yellow Lab named Star and a medium sized black "Rez Special" named Bear. I am not prepared for when what happens in movies happens to them. When the time comes, I will need to watch a movie about a sports hero who contracts a terminal disease and dies a long, painful agonizing death to cheer myself up.

A Golden (Or Maybe Amber) Opportunity

For whatever reason, I have become more aware of television ads for law firms lately. I am sure you have seen them too. They tell of the devastation that has occurred after/during/as a result of certain medications that one may have received during surgery. Many of these involve "life saving" procedures. I even saw one the other day that was for denture adhesive. Yes, it is a tragedy that people have been harmed or died as a result of something that was done during surgery. It is a tragedy that people have been harmed or died as a result of a medication. I do take issue when the immediate reaction is to sue for the highest amount ever awarded. Again, I believe the individual would have died without the procedure, ( IN SOME CASES!) therefore question the belief that they died because something went wrong with a blood thinner/procedure/dental adhesive. I am sensing an opportunity here. Shoelaces that become untied, causing one to trip, fall and suffer an injury or even death. I am sure some brands of shoelaces are more prone to this than others. How about beer. Imagine the voice over: Have you or a loved one been injured after failing to correctly ambulate due to compromised coordination as a result of consumption of this dangerous beverage? Numerous women have even said yes to intercourse and wound up pregnant after a night of drinking. Even more men have succumbed to a condition known as "beer goggles" and spent the rest of their suffering ridicule from their friends. Please call the law firm of Dewey Cheetham and Howe. You may be entitled to a large settlement.

If You Experienced Great Service, Ring The Bell.

The sales rep gave me a phone number to call to get my order status.
I dialed the 1-866 number.
Recorded Voice: Thank you for calling ________, for order status press 1.
I press "1."
R.CV: For order status, press 1.
I dutifully press 1
R.V.: That option is not valid. Good bye. (click)
I repeat cycle with same results
I Repeat again. - same results.
I try again, but do not press anything and wait for other options.
R.V.: We did not understand your response - good bye. (click)
I determine the site is temporarily down and go to bed. ( The store was closed at this time, so it was pointless to call the sales guy.)
Morning comes and I try again
Same results.
I repeat with a corded phone and get the same results
I try one more time
R.V.: For order status, press 1.
I press 2(!) - I was feeling rebellious
R.V.: For order status, press 1
I obey, thinking I can press 2 a second time next time. Hell, I'm ready to work my way through the numbers. I might even try calculating delta T, S, or even U if necessary - I've still got my old P. Chem books.
R.V.: Please hold while we access your information -- your delivery will arrive today between _____ and ____. Thank you for using _____.
I was so surprised, I nearly did a number 2. Which makes sense seeing as number 1 was only pissing me off.

Bowling For Birthdays

Our daughter had her birthday at the bowling alley Saturday. It was a blast as all the kids as well as adults had a great time. I have found these work out much better that the ones held at "Upchuck Cheese" and clones thereof. This is our daughter attempting to pick up the spare. Is she ready for the pro bowler tour?

An Uplifting Sight

A family of ladders has moved in across the street. How cool is that?

German soliders and the CDC.

There seems to be something in the news lately about public health. Something about farm animals and influenza. What could it be? Hmmm. Could it be swine flu? Yep, and the media have another topic to talk to death. I am not meaning to belittle this sometimes fatal infliction, but wish to put it in perspective. In 2007, there were over 4,500 pedestrian deaths due to accidents with cars. There were an additional 70,000 pedestrians injured due to the same. Yet we all still cross the street just as many fail to wash their hands after using the bathroom or before eating. Just think of all the boogers that have been wiped on door handles and banisters. It does not matter if it was intentional or not, the treasures are there and it 'snot funny. The same folks who refuse to practice this simple hygiene measure are the same ones who are avoiding pork products in an effort to stay healthy. Yo, booger brains, one does not get swine flu from eating swine, one gets it from being in contact with an infected swine, or being in contact with one who has been in contact with one who has been in contact...with an infected swine.

I did, however, read something interesting about this particular strain. It seems that the ones who are dying from it are the ones healthier than the normal population. There is speculation that these individuals have a stronger immunity, thus a stronger immune response. It is the strong response that is killing some of them, not the virus itself. As Arte Johnson would say "Veeeeery interesting." If you have to ask, you're a pup.

Q and A time

Q) When it it better to be flightless than to be a flier?

A) When flier is spelled with a "y", and the flightless entity is an Antarctic bird from Pittsburgh.

Translation) Go Pens!

Adaptation

A few months ago, my wife's work schedule changed from 7:00 AM-4:00 PM M-F (which matched mine) to some random permutation of starting at 6:00 or 7:00 to 2:00, 3:00 or 4:00. This had potential to cause strife in our daughter's life as she loves to have Mommy drop us off on the way to her work and we ride bicycles the last mile to her school. Our daughter believed this work schedule means we can only do this on occasion. She was quite upset until I mentioned on the 6:00 days I can drive us to the same parking lot where we get dropped off on the 7:00 days. This is just what we started doing and all is happy. I get more riding and exercise too. The big problem might come in August when the parking pass expires and I am reluctant to purchase a new one due to a nearly 50% increase in the price. While I understand the reluctance of having taxpayers pay for my parking pass, I have issue with paying to park where I work, considering there is no public transit where we live. Also a parking pass does not guarantee I will have a parking spot. The other point is that I can do the street parking thing and be closer to work than the campus parking lots I normally use but, this would not work for the ride to our daughter's school. Hmmmm. Maybe I should just buy the cheap pass for the dirt boondocks lot that sucks for where I work, but is good for the ride to Ms. K's school. I can always do a pro-rate upgrade in November when the snow starts to fly, the temperature drops and darkness rules the early morn.

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

I know I like cold weather, and despise hot days, but since it is the middle of April I should add a caveat. My love of cold is confined to November through March, after that I do permit days over 45 degrees. I know this is your down time and you are on vacation, but I would like a warming trend. It is okay if the trend ends at 75 degrees, after all if I wanted hot weather I would have moved to Phoenix.

Did I Mention Wind

How To Tell If It Is Spring In Flagstaff

1) Wind
2) One day is in 60+, a couple of days later it is 30-ish with snow
3) Two days later it is back to around 60
4) Repeat 2 and 3
5) Wind
6) Wind
7) People are walking around dressed in tees, shorts and flip flops when it is 30 degrees, windy and snowing as they complain about being cold.
8) Wind

A Guest Blogger Tonight

Because I do not feel up to blogging this evening, I am turning the task over to my daughter. And away we go...
Today 97 Years ago the Titanic hit an ice berg at 11:40 pm and will go down on the 15th I am so sorry a lot of people died.

Sociopathopolitical Commentary #next

Well it seems that our planet lost 3 pirates today, and I have a hard time feeling sorry for them. Modern piracy creates millionaires when ransom for crews is paid and cargo is sold on the black market. In addition when some pirates return to their villages, they are treated as heroes - not the criminals/terrorists/murderers they are. I am not some opinionated redneck spewing drivel. I am well aware of the desperation that poverty creates and believe that a full attack on the elements that create poverty are in order. I do, however have a hard time believing that the millions and millions that have been paid to pirates for release of ships and crew has gone to reduce suffering in Somalia or anywhere else. These payments have strengthened war lords, reduced freedoms increased starvation, illness and violence making the world a more dangerous place. Kudos to the Navy Seals for their actions today, and the French for their efforts last week. All I can hope for is that the next container vessel taken by pirates if carrying nothing but Peeps. Imagine the fun of pirates trying to unload millions of yellow, purple, pink, blue and white marshmallow treats among a population that is striving to find clean drinking water. I will not comment on how I feel about any children and wives of the pirates because I do not wish to be labeled as a liberal who "does not get it."

It's This Simple

Diablo Burger Rocks!

Good food, friendly service, locally produced ingredients.

Is My Life Exciting, Or What?

I have been suddenly spending a lot of time looking at EBAY for useless items I do not need. Among these items are a "new" ipod shuffle, (my old one worked fine - I just wanted a 2nd gen one) a new puck case to replace the one I gave to my daughter for her puck signed by Todd Fedoruk, a hubcap for a '98 grand voyager, and a case for my daughter's Nintendo DS. I have bought more crap(?) on EBAY in the past month than I have in the past 18 months combined. It is, nonetheless, a good place to find things that are hard to find, have been discontinued or are overpriced elsewhere. The puck case is a good example; the store I used to get them at has discontinued nearly all of their hockey stuff. Damn them! Not just the Flag store either - it appears that all their Phoenix metro stores have done the same. I realize that hockey stuff is not the best seller in AZ, but they need to be aware that hockey fans MUST HAVE HOCKEY STUFF. Merchants must deliver before we start chanting BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD while carrying broken sticks. Hockey fans without hockey stuff is like Sturgis running out of beer during the rally. Bad idea. Hmmm this is turning into a rant over a piece of plastic. This must mean the answer to the title question is an "Or what."

With the date where I conclude another trip around the sun approaching, my wife and daughter conspired with a friend to treat me to something special at a hockey game last Tuesday. In longer terms: (You know the tune - sorry to the Gear Daddies for the following liberties)

I went down to the Coyotes arena
Where I met the P.R. gal
She came from her office, said "Sir, you must be he."
I looked back at her and said "Yes I am."

I get to ride the Zamboni... Hey
I get to ride the Zamboni - Yes I do.

Now ever since I was young, it's been my dream
That I might ride a Zamboni Machine
I'd wave to the fans as proud as could be
And all the kids would wave back at me

I get to ride the Zamboni
I get to ride the Zamboni - Yes I do!

Now the P.R. Gal said "Man that looks keen."
And that she's never rode that expensive machine
And she's been helping folks ride for years
And she loves it so much she gives them cheers.

Yep. I got to ride a Zamboni right before the game. My daughter acted wild just (seconds) before the puck dropped and got her pic on the big screen. AND..AND...AND the desert doggies actually won. The P.R. woman was way cool, and said she had the best job in the world because she takes hockey fans downstairs to ride the Zamboni. This is something all hockey fans love to do. My wife and daughter tried to take some pics, but none turned out well. Probably because I was moving and the glass makes things blurry. Anyway here is one attempt. (Thanks to my wife, daughter and H)

Can U Cipher And Drive At The Same Time

As I age I find that I sometimes drive slower than molasses on a Minnesota midwinter midnight (AKA about the speed limit.) This usually does not prove to be an issue unless it is on a 7 mile long 2 lane winding road terminating at Snowbowl. For some reason people want to drive over 50 MPH on this posted 30-35 MPH road in the hopes that they will get more skiing in if they reach the parking lot 3-4 minutes faster. So they pass me in the no passing zone (the entire road.) I keep thinking they will be stupid enough to take the corners at a high rate of speed, but they seem to come to their senses for those. I know these 3-4 minutes are important because I see these folks in the parking lot farting with their mp3 players and other accouterments d' ski/snowboard. Despite their rush to arrive quickly, I still manage to make it on the lift before them. On the other hand because I ski like the aging fart I am, they beat me down the hill and on the lift for the next trip down the slope. Once at the top of the lift, there is more farting with the previously mentioned equipment and the cycle repeats. Oh, the snow is still adequate for skiing, but probably wont be by the weekend. The demands from the piece of plastic from Arizona Snowbowl that I wear around my neck will have to go unanswered until more snow falls.

Trying To Find My Way Back

I have suddenly realized that my blog has lost it's original edge of anti-seriousness and sarcasm. This is due to an extreme dose of paranoia that anything I write may be used against me in the future. I could be on trial or serve as a witness someday and have to answer to items in this blog. That is why I refrain from making comparisons between a specific upper level administrator at a specific institution of higher education and fictional humanoids with hairy feet that live in dwellings with round doors. I'm sure we can envision it now: "Now then Mr. R," said the attorney with a lilt of smugness in his voice, "Is it not true that you said the president of the university and the local mayor could get a 2-for-1 special on What Not To Wear?" I would reply something like, "No, it is quite true." The prosecution would then inquire "No, it is true?" I would then be kind enough to point out the use of a double negative in the attorney's original inquiry. That combined with the likelihood that I would be wearing a cartoon character necktie would seal my fate. So it's a good thing I don't compare people to Hobbits.

And Now The Instant Replay

See the previous blog for what happened at 3:30 on Monday afternoon. Except this time I made the important call when the alarm went off. I was also leaving for an appointment at the exact instant the alarm sounded so I do not know if there was an odor issue. Today, I was thanked by the building manager for my prompt call to him. As it turns out, the fire detectors in the autoclave rooms are set for smoke, not heat so when steam is released, the detectors think it is smoke and sound off. They will be reset for temperature to avoid repeated soundings.

Hot and Steamy Times in the Science Lab Building

Friday afternoon one of the autoclaves in the building released a larger than normal cloud of steam. Kind of like a mechanical fart. This set off the fire alarm, sending the occupants out into the chilly wind. Meanwhile inside the building, the HVAC shut down as it is supposed to when the alarm is activated. Although most of the sophisticated system reactivates when the alarm is shut off, the "make-up air" does not. This results in numerous odors accumulating in the building resulting in an aroma not unlike ass. This makes sense as vapors/fumes from the can, drains, etc are part of the intoxicating environment. After a couple of calls, the HVAC was working properly and the building smelled like a building and not a forest service outhouse. The moral of the story is: Don't fart in an enclosed space.

Geek Alert

Today being 3/3/9 is one of nine square root days a century. I think I'll celebrate it by doing something square. I could 1) eat only square meals, 2) watch Sponge Bob Squarepants, 3) act like a square 4) make sure all corners are square or 5) go square dancing. It is also the day of the science fair at my daughter's school. How cool is it for it to fall on square root day? We will have to wait for April 4th of 2016 for the next one. How will you observe the occasion?

Rest In Peace Of The Story

Somewhere around 3-4 decades ago, I could not figure out why my dad would enjoy listening to Paul Harvey. After all, my pop has definite liberal leanings, and someone as nerdish as Paul had to be a die hard conservative. As I aged, I came to appreciate Mr. Harvey's comments and delivery thereof; I saw his show not one of political ideology, but one of education and entertainment. I will miss him and what he meant to broadcasting. He gave lessons without being preachy, insulting or provocative. I know his son has taken over much of his broadcasting, but I am left wanting more of "The Rest Of The Story."

How To Celebrate A Warm Day

A succession of warm days has been a catalyst for some exciting after work activities:

1) De-poop the part of the back yard that isn't covered with snow
2) Sweep out the garage
3) Sweep off the "apron" in front of the garage
4) Move the can of gas for the snow blower from the garage to the shed
5) Replace the furnace filter
6) Celebrate 1-5 above by putting air in the bicycle tires and going for a short ride

Can Someone Retrain Me?

Yesterday was a snow day at the university. This followed a day when the "NEW" lab building was supposed to be closed for the morning. As a result I simply burnt a few vacation hours on Monday. Don't get excited here since our daughter decided to complain about hurting ears resulting in a trip to the doctor. As it turns out, she has a simple cold and not an ear infection. The annoying part is that she had an appointment for 11:20, and was seen by the doc at 12:20. Oh well... When I returned to work the tasks had piled up and I still have plenty to do tomorrow.

It's All Relative - No Pun Intended.

Journal:
Saturday: Clear off driveway before it gets deeper
Sunday: Clear off driveway before it gets deeper. Hope the plow or grader doesn't undo the work.
Monday: Clear off driveway before it gets deeper. Hope the plow or grader doesn't undo the work.
Monday night: Clear off driveway before it gets deeper. Hope the plow or grader doesn't undo the work.
Tuesday 04:30: Clear off driveway so wife can make it to work. Do only 2/3 of it and go back to bed.
Tuesday 08:30 Finish driveway. Hope the plow or grader doesn't undo the work.
Tuesday 09:30 Clear out friend's driveway and shovel 30 yard path to their front door. Hope plow/grader doesn't undo job.
Tuesday 12:00: Dig out Bronco/move Bronco so I can get to Ranger to give the dog we are taking care of his daily ride.
Tuesday 14:30: Clear off deck and position ladder in case I need to shovel off roof
Tuesday 15:30: Watch grader undo 1/2 of job at friend's driveway
Tuesday 15:31: Watch friend return from trip/undo the undoing
Tuesday 15:45: Wonder how the surviving members of the Donner Party made it out with some degree of sanity. Try more snow, more days, no rescue, and resorting to eating friends. Kind of makes a snow berm something to celebrate.

At N.A.U. The Future is Now

Well, we finally had more communication from the Office of the President of N.A.U., even if all it said is: we will know what we know when we know it and we will know some of it by Monday. So stay tuned to find out who still has a job after June 30th. The odd thing is they seem to have a better idea about FY 10 than about the remainder of FY 09.

IMPEACHMENT!

By the loading dock at the building I work in, there are dumpsters surrounded on three sides by brick walls. The other side has gates which are supposed to be held in place with pegs that fit into tubes in the ground. The problem is that the tubes are filled with dirt, sand snow and ice. In addition, the pegs are bent and no longer slide into the tubes - even if they weren't filled with stuff. When the wind blows, the gates swing freely, slam into the walls (and cars that are parked in the area) with a pleasant squeak-slam, squeak slam. This is absolutely scandalous and is known as dumpstergate.

Do Not Let The Cheese Separate.

Our daughter wanted to help with dinner tonight. I mean insisted on helping; in particular she wanted to make the cheese sauce for the fettuccine. She said if I told her how she would make it. I told her what to do and she did it. She even made me leave the room (Mommy stayed to keep her out of danger.) I must have had her use too much flour (Wondra) because it turned out too thick. Her immediate response was "Oh, we'll just add a little more milk." A splash or two of moo juice and it was perfect. Smooth, velvety, and yummy. I was jealous. The first time I tried to make a cheese sauce it was yummy, but grainy and anything but smooth and velvety. She even added a little pepper and Tabasco sauce for flavor. Maybe the next lesson should be shrimp scampi?

Is There A Point Spread?

I am at a loss as to what to blog on tonight, so I just asked my daughter. She in turn asked mommy. Mommy said to blog about a mini furniture rearrangement in our house. We moved the small roll-top desk that was in the living room into our daughter's room and moved the cedar chest and small fish tank that was there into the living room. We hope this helps with making homework time homework time and not try to ignore the TV time. Will it work? The spirit of Jimmy The Greek is calculating the odds as I blog.

What Is A Rambutan

In reference to a couple of posts ago - these are rambutans. I know them as nga

When Judges Lie And Suck Toes.

I planned on talking one of the science fair folks about the science fair "comparison issue" today when I was picking my daughter up for a dentist appointment, but Kim decided to just do the project she was going to do anyway. This is probably good since her past projects (involving comparisons) have done well. This is also a good thing because I didn't want to confront someone about something that is probably due to a nine-year-old's misunderstanding of the issue. I can just picture myself getting snotty and saying something like "I have a Master's degree in science and I know science so there!" with the nasal nerdish voice I have been blessed with. This would have been met with a "Well I'm a professional librarian and in charge of the judges, so there back!" Within minutes this would have moved to "Liar liar pants on fire." and "So so suck your toe all the way to Mexico." So it's a good thing Kim decided not to worry about it.

Comparing Apples to Rambutans, or Turnips Even.

Last night after getting Kim to bed, I started channel surfing and came across the Coyotes game. I was amazed to see the score at 5 to 3 in Phoenix's favor. Then I realized they were playing Detroit and was amazeder. Then I noticed there were 10 minutes left in the third - yup amazederer. I felt like an idiot for not finding the game earlier, but got over it quickly once the desert doggies scored again. Final score 6 - 3. The mangy mutts do not beat the Red Wings just any day, and for the second time in two days there was much happiness in Glendale, albeit different venues. In other news one of the science fair folks in charge of the judges told Kim today that "comparing things is not a science project." This leaves me wondering if comparing a "control" to an "experiment" group means it is not science. Needless to say this leaves our daughter very confused and frustrated. I think I need to find this person and ask her what she really meant. It might be that Kim needs to redesign her experiment to something that has no comparisons.

Dill or Sweet?

When we were picking our daughter up from her after school program today, one of the directors informed us that she and another girl called a boy a bad name. She apologized immediately and all was well - aside from the grounding we were sure would result. We were not told what the name was and figured we would get it out of her on the drive home. Once we were in the car, I asked what the name was. Nothing could ever prepare me for this answer: "Pickle Hater." Yes, it appears that one of her classmates does not like pickles. We have not devised a punishment, but I did ask what she would think if someone called her "Lutefisk Liker." "Wouldn't care." was the response. So what is the punishment for calling someone "Pickle Hater?"

The Who Are Going To What?

Last week I asked whoever is responsible for making the Cardinals act non Cardinalsish to keep doing it. I would like to thank you for doing such despite the fact that you made me think you stopped doing it. Just try saying "The Arizona Cardinals are Going to the Super Bowl." without some hint of surprise/disbelief in your voice. I do not consider myself a Cardinals fan, but it is nice to see them 1) have a post season and 2) do well in said post season. The organization has been wandering the NFL wilderness in search of a win for several decades. They have asked the great NFL Pharaoh "Let our team win." on several occasions only to be told "No." As I write this, another Phoenix sports team is trailing the Oilers 4 to 3 near the end of the 2nd period. They too are wandering the wilderness in search of enough wins to have a post season. So just in case this hasn't been asked: "Oh, great Lord Stanley, let our Coyotes win." Yes, I know there are also the Suns and Diamondbacks, but my major sports hierarchy goes like this: HOCKEY! - FOOTBALL - Baseball - basketball.

They're Baaaaaaack!

It seems that the forces at NAU decided that since the students are back from winter break, they should dig the snow out from around the bike racks -- if they can find them. It makes me wonder what they spent the last week doing, and why they decided to wait until doorways, handicap railings, etc. are congested with bicycles. The good news is people are finding their bikes that were covered with around 3 feet of snow as the racks are uncovered. At this rate Jimmy Hoffa will be found alive and well and living in a steam tunnel under the Physics building.

What happened last night?

Where are the Arizona Cardinals, what have you done with them, and can you keep doing it? When was the last time you saw the coach smile like that? Even the desert doggies pulled it off.

How much this time?

I like snow. I mean I like new snow. However, I am getting tired of the windrows (snow berms) piled up along the roads, reducing residential streets to about 1.5 car widths. With more snow on the way, things will only get narrower. Did Flag forget that snow is supposed to melt between snowfalls? The good thing is that the little bit we are about to get will touch-up the old snow to make things look fresh again. I might even get to fire up the blower again.